I seriously don't understand how people can be so hurtful and not even give it a second though! How can you cuss someone out and call them all sorts of terrible names when you don't even know them........some people just want to take out their anger or something I guess but I really hurts when you are the recipient....today I was in a car accident....thankfully God protected me and all those involved....but my car is kind of wrecked.....I slid on some black ice and couldn't stop the car and hit the back of an SUV........the people inside of that car treated me worse than I have ever been treated in my entire life...they called me names that I don't believe anyone should ever be called and they physically abused me by shoving me back into my car and trying to punch the glass out of my window and threatening to kill me.........I have never been treated like that in my entire life and it scared me really badly......I actually thought that they were going to hit me and it wasn't even my fault...I mean yes I did hit their car but I tried to stop and their car was totally fine it was mine that was broken.........It scared me.....almost more than anything in my life....I had a panic attack and couldn't stop crying....the funny thing is I don't want to talk to anyone about what happened because it makes me feel stupid and worthless even though I know it's not really my fault....I guess I really don't want people to look at me differently because of this....I don't know I'm probably just being stupid......I tried to go to sleep tonight and I just kept having nightmares of being threatened...I couldn't do it I would rather be tired and awake then sleeping and experiencing that again and again....now I have so many worries because I don't have a car to drive until it gets fixed if it even can be fixed....I just feel so dumb and I don't want to talk to anyone about what happened but I need to get it out because it's so bottled up inside of me....I want to talk to someone who I know won't judge me! I'M SO SCARED! Literally I'm scared that someone is going to come after me and try to kill me.....I'm afraid that that guy is going to try to hurt me or that lady is going to get two inches from my face again ans scream profanities.......I'm so scared that I'm going to crash...honestly I'm even scared to drive again........I'm afraid that someone is going to come after me and get me....they were screaming that they were going to kill me in the middle of the street...........I have never been treated like that before......I'm very sensitive.....I have had people cuss at me and yell at me before but never be that physical with me and tell me that I should die and that they want to kill me......It scared me...and honestly I'm still really scared.......I don't know what to do and I don't like feeling this way....why am I soo closed off to people all the time? why do I have so many walls that I can't tell people how I feel...honestly half the time I just don't want people to see me cry because I have a lot of tears that need to come out and tend to come out when I talk about how I feel....I'm so afraid that people are going to hurt me I feel like I always have to have my guard up and that I can never really be real with anyone....maybe one day I will be able to trust people again.....
The Painting Warrior
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